Hello there. I hope all is well in your world. Right now, mine is a little messy. Literally and figuratively. I just finished the Brené Brown course and absolutely loved it. It has truly been life changing and has been stirring up all sorts of emotions. Old energy is shedding but self-doubt has been trying to rain on my parade…as usual.
With all the flux, I’ve been cleaning out areas of my home that no longer serve me. One of those neglected areas was my laundry room cabinets. They were stocked with all my supplies for creating skin care products… (my obsession 3 years ago). As I gathered up the countless little vials of essential oils, dried herbs and tubs of concoctions, I found myself crying. I stopped for a minute to check in with my mind and see what all the fuss was about.
Ahh…I was berating myself. For failing. For being flaky. For investing all this money and time into something I gave up on. For being stupid. Unfocused. Confused. Wasteful. ugh. Brené referres to these moments as “shame storms”. This was a category 3.
Then I remembered the last week of the Brené lessons – letting go of certainty. I was reminded that it’s okay to wander, get lost and not know which way to turn. Even in those moments we are whole. I had not failed. I had just wandered. I had needed to do that, at that time and it has led me to where I am today. So what if Grace & Ivy began as a skin care hobby!? It ended up launching my blog, helping me rediscover my love of writing, leading me to a new passion for vintage and ultimately, reunited me with my first, true love – ART.
Was it a linear, logical journey? Nope…but that’s not really how I roll anyway. Is it over? Have I got it all figured out? Hell no! But that’s okay.
So, please, let me remind you dear friends, that if you are feeling a bit lost or are wandering. Fear not. Know that it is part of your own journey. We are not supposed to have all the answers. Life doesn’t come with a compass or a map. Use your heart as your guide and believe that even in your most vulnerable place – you are right where you need to be. Trust yourself and never compare your path to someone else’s. Like a snowflake, each one is unique.
Sending you all love.
18 responses to “Wandering…”
Lovely, thanks for sharing.
Wonderful written, so true:) Thx<3
Hey there..how did you make it “snow” on your webpage. You are so clever missy! Your message strikes a chord with me today…I think I shall read a few more times. :-)
I am right there with you, Ivy. <3
I wonder all the time about everything!
I wish I had signed up for Brene’s course but I just had too much on my plate to fit it in right now – hopefully she will offer another! I can totally relate to your post today having been there a number of times myself… well said!
Great post. I sometimes have to remind myself all of these things. xo
Ivy, you should never have fear or lack of doubt…your blog and talent is gorgeous.
OMG, welcome to the club… Hahaha. Linear traveling is for planes! (And even sometimes they have to circle around and detour and delay). I admire your honesty. And wish I were there to cheers you. An artist’s path is not an easy one. Or a well-lit one. Or an obvious one. It takes a woman with the courage of a (what has a lot of courage?? An eagle? A wild cat?) — an Eaglecat, to keep going even in the midst of all of it. I’m gonna write a quote in here. (I’m trying to win the prize for “longest comment”).
“Who wouldn’t give up? Another dozen canvases ruined. Another year without a decent-paying role. Another novel that never quite came alive. Another band self-destructing. Another ten auditions and nothing; another twenty query letters and nothing; another fruitless round of mailing out slides. Who wouldn’t give up? Only the persistent artist. She lives through all this and by so doing retains the chance of becoming the exception.” (From Eric Maisel’s “Affirmations for Artists”.)
Love you XOXO
I wished I signed up for the course too! But you are a beautiful writer and you are always inspiring!
I can totally relate to this. I had to give up a PhD and it’s taken me years to get over it (if I fully am yet!) but I don’t see it as ten years wasted. As you say, it’s part of the journey, I enjoyed it and I learned a lot and got loads out of it. I didn’t want it to end, especially in failure, but now I am doing other things too. I just completed my first ever complete first draft of a novel! Now on to the editing :)
Maybe if you can find someone to pass the supplies to your ending can be someone else’s beginning and start them on a new path?
great reminder, im a graduate having just finished university and everyday i feel lost and confused on my road to becoming a successful artist, but this article made me smile that even in my lost thoughts there is a path and where I am now its all part of a plan, excellent reminder! thanks again
I can totally relate to this post! I am in the midst of wandering and cleaning out areas in my home that are not quite “me” anymore, too, with the goal of moving forward to the next year lighter and more focused. Thank you for the inspiring words!
Having just moved I purged tons, especially stuff from my marriage that was over 10 years ago! Amazing what we hang onto for the sake of hanging onto it. It felt great but since moving into the new place 5 days ago, I’ve discovered that I still have some way to go with cutting things loose!!
What wonderful thoughts! What delightful sentiments! An uncharted course may just bring you where you safely belong.
Being in the midst of my own shame storm sitting here in my office this post is just what I needed to hear. Thank you so much for sharing your heart.
I’m late in reading this, but maybe that’s because my own “shame storm” is a category five. After a year that brought a job loss (and no full-time employment as of yet), a divorce, moving back in with my parents, a 35th birthday in two days…it’s all two much. Regrets have weighed me down to the point of absolute dissolve. I know this is all happening for a reason, and these struggles will lead to something, but the path is long. I needed the gentle reminder of this post. Thank you.
Thanks for sharing! Recently, I was thinking about turning 30ish soon and that I’ve wasted so much time hesitating to pursue my dreams. However, a part of my “back and forth” has strengthened me and enriched my journey. I guess we just have to look forward and use all that we’ve learned along the way. Best wishes!